What happened

On February 18th, 1993 I got the call that is every mother's worst nightmare. My oldest son was shot and killed. The worst part is that he pulled the trigger. He was 17 years old.

On September 22nd, 1999 his little brother (then 22) went to the cemetary where Shane's ashes are and shot himself in the head. He wanted to be with his brother--wherever that is when you kill yourself.

It was also what happened between their deaths. Howie, Ryan's best friend, was murdered. His brief story in the blogs posted.

How much could one 22 year old take?

Monday, December 2, 2013

The Parents Who Did Something Grand

I first wanted to widely open up the discussion of suicide prevention, especially in young men. Maybe I could finally write like I've always wanted to and out of that will come words that will lift the pain of others. I had visions that sales from this book would open a new organization or place or something that would be safe for these young men to go for help.

I'm a private person and have always felt sorry for those in the limelight who have cameras flashing at them, have stories from their past told on the front page of a rag magazine, and condemning critics. I was willing to give myself totally to the effort, take the flashlight and point it.

I wanted to make something of this like Mark Klaas did when his daughter, Polly was murdered. Or how John Walsh started such a wonderful organization and made us all aware with Adam's story. Wonderful laws are being made to protect our children by the energy of grieving parents all over this country.

To get out my writer's nervous energy, I now write to our Soldiers overseas. I'm on the official Soldier's Angels Letter Writing Team.It makes me feel good to think that because I spend a little time each week and one stamp that I can comfort someone serving our country if only for the few minutes it takes to read it.

After I made a couple of quilts for our wounded troops, that led to the information about the Women's Center being built and started in Afghanistan. I volunteered to take on the need for aprons for these women who are desperately wanting to learn how to can food.

So, maybe I don't have the courage or enthusiasm to open up the wounds of suicide and try to help someone else. But I CAN write a letter and sew some scraps of cotton together to make quilts and aprons.

For now, that's how I'm coping. I once heard that sewing is a number one stress reducer. All I know is that when I'm sewing and making something that others will truly appreciate and make them feel good, it keeps me going. It's actually quite addictive.

Happy Birthday, Shane!

You would have been 34 today.